Wednesday, November 08, 2006

World Stupidity Awards

World Champions of Stupidity Revealed

Winners for 4th Annual World Stupidity Awards Announced

US President Bush wins Award for Being "Most Out of touch with Reality"
Middle East takes Lifetime Achievement Award for Stupidity


The 4th Annual World Stupidity Awards has revealed this year's global champions of stupidity and ignorance, as decided by a worldwide Internet vote.

Details on the winners, taken directly from their website is below. For further - go to: http://stupidityawards.com/winners.html

An American judge who presided over several murder trials while attached to a throbbing penis pump was voted Stupidest Man of the Year - edging out US Vice President Dick Cheney and Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad (neither men are not known to use the device while working). "I think this sends a clear warning to all the other penis pumping judges, airline pilots and heart surgeons," said World Stupidity Awards SpokesMoron Robert Spence, "turn off that penis pump now!

Although some are already calling this a humiliating defeat for Cheney, the Vice President took the award for having created the Stupidest Moment of the Year when he shot his friend in the face during a hunting trip instead of a bird. "Although Vice President Cheney had worthy adversaries," said Spence, "you must bear in mind, the Cheney shooting unleashed a series of stupid events, and helped create what would become this year's stupidest statement.
In the category of Stupidest Statement of the Year, a comment by Cheney's shooting victim Harry Whittington was the clear winner. After Cheney shot him, Whittington, a lawyer said: "My family and I are deeply sorry for all that Vice President Cheney and his family have had to go through this past week."

Always a contender, US President George W. Bush won the hotly contested new category, the Disinformation Stupidity Award for Being Most out of Touch with Reality. "I think the feeling from voters is that all the nominees, which included Michael Jackson, Tom Cruise and Hilary Clinton, were deserving," said Spence. "The award, however, went to the person most out of touch with reality, while having the most influence on it." President Bush was also awarded with his own category this year after voters complained that his presence in the Stupidest Statement category was unfair to other nominees.

The President's statement that won the Stupidest Statement by President George W. Bush was Bush's famous Katrina disaster line "Brownie, you're doing a heck of a job." It beat out "Wow, Brazil is big!" and even "I am the decider." Killing people for God won in the category of Stupidest Trend of the Year, followed closely by the media's tendency towards glibly an nouncing that World War 3 has already begun. The trend towards showing off Ass Cleavage brought up the rear. "Killing people for God was voted a clear victor in this category," said Spence. "And it probably serves as a reminder to check with your god before murdering innocent people, as most gods will send you directly to hell." The Middle East itself was awarded the prestigious Lifetime Achievement Award for Stupidity.

4 comments:

Anne-Marie said...

Wow, so much stupidity, so little time...

Have you ever read the Darwin Awards? They are awarded for the most stupid death, which at least has the benefit of making the gene pool a little less shallow. I'm sure they're online somewhere if you want to see past winners.

"I am the decider" played back to back last night on the news with Rumsfelt's "there are known facts that we know about and unknown unknowns that we don't know about" speech from the start of the Iraqi war. Oy. I don't let my 11 year-old get away with such inarticulation.

Dale said...

Well, it's good to hear I'm not alone in the world...

Dale said...

And by the way, when it comes to my kids I AM the decider.

E.L. Wisty said...

Ah, congratulations to "W" and all the other winners. They seem well-deserving. Thinking of something like Cheney's shooting accident. Such irony as the NRA keeps saying how guns are bad only in the hands of bad men.

As for this judge, I can't help thinking that he may have hit upon the brilliant idea that he'd get extra kicks using the penis pump PARTICULARLY in murder trials, the sense of danger and whatnot heightening the effect. *shakes head*